Wave Maker: Ezekiel Learns About Socialism

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Monday, June 06, 2005

Ezekiel Learns About Socialism

[this story is taken from Bert & I – although I have changed the names and time context – it is one of those perfectly witty and utterly incisive tales that shoots right to the truth of the human condition, at least the human condition of the Down-east Mainah named Ezekiel Gabbich]

Pervis Webber’s next door nay-bah, Ezekiel Gabbich, come back from a trip to Bangor, where he’d been to hear a speech by James Harris, candidate for President on the Socialist Worker’s Party ticket. He couldn’t wait to buttonhole Pervis at the back fence about “collectives” and such. Knowing Ezekiel don’t know better, Pervis asked him to ‘splain.

“Woy,” Ezekiel said, “if I’ve got two cows and you got none, I give you one of moyn.”

“Zat so,” said Pervis. Ezekiel nodded impressively.

“And,” he continued, “if I got two pigs and you got none, I give you one of moyn.”

Pervis nodded, leanin’ in the fence….and a moment later, asked Zeke:

“You mean to tell me, Ezekiel, if you had two HAY RAKES and I had none, you’d give me one of ‘em?”

Ole Zeke gasped.

“Damn you Pervis, you KNOW I got two hay rakes!”

Posted by: Wave Maker / 2:35 PM/ |