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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Pervis the Great Fisherman

Pervis Webber had a solid reputation in Hancock County as the greatest fisherman since Barney Beale. Stories were legion of him leavin port in his sixteen-foot dory at dawn, and returning mid-afternoon, gun’ls brimming with Cod. Over time, he became such a legend that he attracted the curiosity of Cameron Shackford, head Fish & Game Warden up Augusta.

Shackford come down to Pervis’ village in Bah Hahbah, bent on finding his secret. After brief inquiry to the townsfolk, he was directed to Sampson’s, the local bah, where he found Pervis at his stool, holdin forth about this or that. Shackford took a nearby stool and waited for his chance.

After a pint (pronounced “point”) or two, Shackford coaxed Pervis into telling a few fishin tales, but Pervis, he’s a sly one and he was tight as a tick. But Shackford was persistent, and finally, just to quiet him, Pervis ‘vited him out next mornin, 5 am sharp.

Shackford met Pervis 5 am sharp. Down the dory they went, Pervis slipped the motor on and away they slithered into habah, and ‘bout 5 miles out past Nun Two when Pervis cut engine and they drifted for a bit.

After some silence, Shackford spoke up. “How you catch all them fish, Pervis??”

Pervis reached under his bench and pulled out a stick of dynamite. Reached under the other side, pulled out a short fuse. Put the fuse into the TNT, lit it and tossed it ovah’bawd. Followin’ was an explosion and a rain of seawatah, and when it quieted, a legion of fish slowly floated to the surface and Pervis began landin them with his net.

Shackford reached into his pea coat and removed his badge. “You undah arrest, you no good scoundrel! You! You built a legend of yaw'self bein a man of the sea, and heah you nothing but a common criminal!”

Pervis sat calm. Reached under his bench, pulled up another stick of dynamite and another short fuse, lit it just the same as the fust, tossed it into Shackford’s lap and said,

“Well Cam’ron, you gonna talk or you gonna fish?”


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