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Monday, June 11, 2007

Court of Rock

Courtesy of Lowering the Bar, I commend to you the sentencing memorandum of one Judge Gregory R. Todd of the Montana Judicial District Court, Yellowstone County, which reads, in part:

Mr. McCormack, you pled guilty to the charge of Burglary. To aid me in sentencing, I review the pre-sentence investigation report. I read with interest the section containing Defendant's statement. To the question of "Give your recommendation as to what you think the Court should do in this case," you said, "Like the Beetles say, 'Let it Be.'"

While I will not explore the epistemological or ontological overtones of your response, or even the syntactic or symbolic keys of your allusion, I will say Hey Jude, Do You Want to Know a Secret? The greatest band in rock history spelled their name B-E-A-T-L-E-S.

Read the whole thing.
Posted by: Wave Maker / 7:09 AM/ |

"How Could You Do This To Me!!!!!!!"

...shrieked Martha Stewart at one of her assistants, after her chauffeur was arrested outside of "The View" studios on the Upper West Side:

"How could you do this to me? Don't you do background checks on people? He was Egyptian! What do I pay you people for?"

**GASP*** He was Egyptian!!

At least he spoke English.
Posted by: Wave Maker / 6:54 AM/ |

Friday, June 01, 2007

Draining the Swamp



The continued (aggressive and insatiable) pursuit of earmarking pork, in the face of such solemn Goo-Goo talk before the election, makes me sick.
Posted by: Wave Maker / 5:49 PM/ |

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